What is a “Rethinker”?
What is a “Rethinker? A rethinker is one who questions, doubts (as far as possible), all things. A rethinker seeks questions, not answers, as the path to truth. A rethinker does not blindly follow authority, no matter how firmly established. Hence, a rethinker.
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| An Honest Conversation With God | |
| Posted Feb 16th, 2010 by Rethinker | |
| At the beginning of my re-thinking, I wrote a final letter to the God that I had been taught to believe since childhood. It was my last conversation with this God. Dear God, It's June 7, 2007, and in a few days I will be 54 years old. During much of those 54 years, God, you have been on my mind. But usually I've not been honest with you. I've played a game I was taught from an early age and seemed never to get away from it. The gamne is generally called RELIGION and comes in many forms. But one factor seems to be common - all claim to understand what pleases you and grants us favor. But I have many questions for you, God, after all these years of playting RELIGION, so I'll begin: Do you even exist? Or are you an invention of human imagination and desires? I must admit that when I consider the wonder of this earth, the beauty and intricacy of life, it's hard to imagine that it just happened. And more, when I see pictures of telescopic images of other galazies eons away, I am stunned and awed. To think of all the other worlds out there! Yet we live here day by day running here and there, busy, busy - we must look like ants hunting and gathering and marching back to their den, only to go back and do it over and over again, unaware and unconcerned of the larger universe. So when I think of this, I think it's hard to understand all of this just happening from nothing - with no plan, design, or purpose. But that raises other questions: If you exist, who or what are you? I was born into the Christian religion, and I was taught that you are a person (as opposed, I guess, to a Force or Power or Intelligence outside of a body.) But I can't comprehend that. Further, I was told that you are the only true God - 1 God - yet, you are 3 persons in 1: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This, also, is difficult to understand. Can I be honest? It really seems like a totally made-up invention of man. Mankind has had many images and conceptions of you, and they have varied from culture to culture, age to age. It is the same now. We don't make human sacrifices on the altar, but we're still told to sacrifrice in order to gain your favor. Why is that, God? Is it true that you mnust be worshipped in order to be pleased with us? If you are only pleased with perfection, why did you make us so imnperfect, weak, and vulnerable? Why did you put so many obstacles in the way of knowing you? It almost seems cruel, God, that so many of us are so miserable trying to gain your favor, trying to measure up, and always failing. Why do you make it so difficult to know you? If you really wanted a relationship with me and others, why are you so silent and unreachable? If I were as out-of-touch with my wife as you are with me, the relationship would not have lasted. Maybe that's why I'm writing this now - having this conversation. Maybe it's because I'm angry that you still don't seem to care that I'm turning away from all the formulas I was brought up believing. They just haven't worked. There are too many other explanations for things hapopening in this world and in this life. You don't seem to be in control at all like I was always told that you were. Do you have some "Master Plan", God, or do things just happen by chance - dumb luck? When I observe the goings-on of day-to-day life, I'm leaning toweatrd the "CHANCE" option. But there is a twist. Chance seems to be controlled in part to consequences. There are certain predictable results from certain actions. Our decisions and choices directly influence what happens - usually. But there are always conflicting or arbitrary forces acting on us as well. All these factors combine and melt together into what we call our circumstances. But what about circumstances? Are they manipulated by you, God? Do you orchastrate our circumstances? Are the events in my life controlled by you, or simply chance? Do you see my (and humanity's) confusion? Is our system of beliefs and religion and faith a means of trying to find meaning in the meaningless? I must admit that very often I find mnyself in the midst of despair - that life itself seems so futile and senseless. Only passing moments of pleasure and moments of happiness anbd mnoments of a "divine" sense keep me going - keep me hopeful. But if you are a God of love, if you are full of mercy and grace, then why is it so difficult to know that in the day-to-day experience? It really doesn't seem to matter whether I pray or read my Bible or give you praise and worship - life carries on much the same either way. There are consequences for wrong behavior that are "built-in" to the system of living - but that seems to be it. Did you at some point in creation, if indeed you created, instill a set of natural laws to control the universe and then stepped back and let the universe run its course? Even the unexplained transformations that occur in people's lives - is there something in our minds that can be altered or re-born by certain deep repentance of a chosen course and a deep desire for a better course? Is that ability for transformation pre-programmed in our makeup? Transformations seem to happen to people of all religions and to those claiming no religion. You're not going to answer me today, are you, God? Someone might say, "Go to the Bible; the answer from God is found in his 'Word'." But, God, I have gone there, and I find it impossible to accept the Bible as your definitive, only Word. So do I keep pursuing you, God? I used to think that you pursued me? (I put that as a question, because I'm not sure.) Or do I forget about you and try to make sense out of my life as best I can through my own abilities? I'm still struggling with that. I somehow feel there will always be a tension between the two. But how much I wish you could really be a Loving Father! But is it just a wish? |
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